Day 55:

When you first slice there’s a sting, and soon, when you catch sight of the blood, your heart starts racing and pounding because you’ve gotten away with something you know you shouldn’t be doing. Then you go into a sort of hypnotic state, because you’re in total awe watching that bright red line puddle up on your skin, watching it run down your arm like a waterfall. And then comes the sweet release, although it only lasts for a few moments. That sweet release comes with the second and third cut, before you start to try to hold off as long as you can before you draw the razor again across your skin. It doesn’t even hurt anymore by the fourth; it has merely become a chance to finally let go. Or maybe it does hurt a little, but you don’t notice the pain because it hurts way less than everything else, and besides, it’s the only thing you can manage to do right.