Well, madam therapist lady says I need to start writing more as it will help to disperse the anxiety and stress I encounter on a daily basis. As the only person who reads this is someone who deserves a better understanding of this shit, I may as well do it here. I will preface the following with a warning: these are merely my ramblings on my own perceptions of life...
So, a large portion of this nation clamors constantly for a woman's right to control what happens with her own body; I am in completely agreement with this. I believe, though, that it should apply to everything. If I want to employ a razor to calm me down that should be my choice, right? You disagree? Let's consider what is currently 'socially acceptable': piercings, tattoos, circumcisions, nip/tucks, etc. So it's okay for someone to cut holes in their skin so long as some form of jewelry is placed in it. It's okay for someone to penetrate their skin thousands of times so long as ink is injected permanently. It's okay for skin to be severed permanently as long as it is for spiritual purposes. It's okay for skin to be sliced, removed, and stitched back together as long as it's for beauty purposes. But no, it's not okay for me to drag a blade across my own skin to calm down and get rid of stress and anxiety.
Self-mutilaton has been called disgusting, mysterious, incomprehensable, and a host of other negative adjectives. Most people who do not self-mutilate abhor the thought of pain, and cannot imagine purposefully hurting oneself. While there are exceptions, the majority of our society sees self-mutilation as a very deviant behavior. Part of this negativity stems from the fact that self-mutilation is poorly understood. Human beings fear what they do not understand, be it homosexuality, mental illness, or self-mutilation. Therefore, most self-injurers feel very alone and unable to share their pain with others. Many wear long sleeves and pants at all times and are careful to cover their scars while in public. If they reveal the scars or explain the behavior, they risk rejection and social ostracism. Most self-mutilators share the same goals as the rest of society. The methods they employ are upsetting to those of us who try to achieve our goals in a more tranquil manner, but self mutilators seek what we all seek: an ordered life, spiritual peace, and a healthy mind in a healthy body.
"Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like." --Lemony Snicket
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