Perpetual Circles

As usual, it's been quite a while since I have updated this blog. And, as usual, I come back to it because things have swung back to the bad side. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to pinpoint where exactly all the anxiety, sadness, and such is stemming from. Work isn't any more stressful than it usually is around this time of year and nothing really notable has occurred to trigger this. I think sometimes these nightmares just get so intense that they cease to merely impact my nights and begin to bleed into my days.

What's probably worse is that Andrew is really busy and stressed about balancing all of his classes as a student, his course as a professor, and his tutoring job and campus job (duh, that's a lot). I don't want to be another thing on his plate that he will inevitably stress over. That would be just too much. So, I haven't told him how I've been feeling and what's been happening because of it. Which I then feel guilty about every time it happens. I'm sure, with time, things will swing back around to the good side like they normally do. Unfortunately, it just doesn't feel like that at all right now. It's all I can do to convince myself to crawl out from under the covers in the morning...let alone go to work and teach all of my students while pretending nothing at all is wrong. Fortunately, fifth graders are super energetic kids, and they tend to quickly get my mind on things other than my problems and worries. Anyway, Andrew's family is coming this weekend and grades for progress reports are due tomorrow. I should probably get going on something more productive than a blog that no one actually reads.