Language describes, but description tends to emerge precisely when nomenclature falters or when the names assigned to objects fail to render them adequately. The world almost never resembles its linguistic mugshot. Exposing the inadequacy of the world to compass the thing, description is allotted the thankless task of representing the misfit things that cannot be immediately assimilated to the world as we already know it. It thus serves as a heuristic device, as a virtual perspective that reveals something about out relationship to objects, or about the relationship between words and objects, that we cannot perceive in our everyday experience of them.

Monkey: me.

Finals Week: Elephant.

 

Why is it that if some dude walked up to me on the subway platform
and said these things, I’d think he was a mentally ill asshole,
but if the vampire inside my head says it,
It’s the voice of reason.

Later today.

Is going to suck.

Whelp.

This backfired a bit. Hi best friend. 

Anxiety.

Words cannot express how much I am freaking out right now. I hate going to see a new therapist for the first time. I get so anxious. What do you say first? Hi, my name is Nicole. I find that self-injury is the most effective coping mechanism for my incredibly crappy hand in life but I can't do it for fear of my boyfriend breaking up with me and the only people I can come close to calling 'family' would be beyond disappointed with me. This causes my body to release stress every night in the form of night-terrors. These simply perpetuate and extend exponentially my daily stress levels and lack of sleep. What to do? This will be the third person I've seen...so far it's just been a waste of my time, but every one I've spoken to continues to encourage me to see someone....as if it's going to make anything any better. I can't just say this to an entire stranger. They'll think that I'm entirely crazy. But I can't just sit there and say nothing...it'd be a waste of both our time. So what do I say? (I realize this is a redundant question as no one reads this, felt the need to ask it anyway.) Not continuing therapy is also not an option, I can't be having a repeat of last year. Even scheduling appointments raises my anxiety levels...how counterproductive. 

Ayudame

“Here then

-

the after

-

math

-

of meaning.

-

A life

-

time

-

finished between

-

the space of

-

two frames.

-

The dark line where the

-

eye persists in seeing

-

something that was never there

-to begin with”