Later today.

Is going to suck.

Whelp.

This backfired a bit. Hi best friend. 

Anxiety.

Words cannot express how much I am freaking out right now. I hate going to see a new therapist for the first time. I get so anxious. What do you say first? Hi, my name is Nicole. I find that self-injury is the most effective coping mechanism for my incredibly crappy hand in life but I can't do it for fear of my boyfriend breaking up with me and the only people I can come close to calling 'family' would be beyond disappointed with me. This causes my body to release stress every night in the form of night-terrors. These simply perpetuate and extend exponentially my daily stress levels and lack of sleep. What to do? This will be the third person I've seen...so far it's just been a waste of my time, but every one I've spoken to continues to encourage me to see someone....as if it's going to make anything any better. I can't just say this to an entire stranger. They'll think that I'm entirely crazy. But I can't just sit there and say nothing...it'd be a waste of both our time. So what do I say? (I realize this is a redundant question as no one reads this, felt the need to ask it anyway.) Not continuing therapy is also not an option, I can't be having a repeat of last year. Even scheduling appointments raises my anxiety levels...how counterproductive. 

Ayudame

“Here then

-

the after

-

math

-

of meaning.

-

A life

-

time

-

finished between

-

the space of

-

two frames.

-

The dark line where the

-

eye persists in seeing

-

something that was never there

-to begin with”

Blankets...

Amazing graphic novel by Craig Thompson

"It's inspiring to see children struggling so hard to climb that hill all for the very brief pleasure of going back down. Us adults are always on the uphill climb. Up, up, up and it doesn't get anywhere."

"I'm not flailing now, as my muscles are rigid with the tension of holding myself together. The pain over my heart returns, and from it I imagine tiny fissures spreading out into my body. Through my torso, down my arms and legs, over my face, leaving it crisscrossed with cracks. One good jolt...and I could shatter into strange, razor-sharp shards."

-Mockingjay